When Frank Sinatra released the iconic song ‘My Way‘ in 1969, it was to become not only a mantra to live by that would stand the test of time, it would also become the song of choice for a majority of karaoke participants the world over.
But it became something else as well. It sat well with a way of leadership that for decades past – and for some years to come – would also be known as the ‘command and control’ style of management.
I’ll tell you what to do and you do it.
In many ways, in many organisations and in many managers, it has remained the style in which they go to work every day and deal with their employees and teams.
And it is flawed. It suited earlier work environments and is now in the process of a heady reboot in those enlightened organisations who see there is a better way to manage – indeed lead – individuals who work in teams.
For many managers, using instruction to replicate them and their experience to drive performance has served them well. After all, if you get promoted by doing the things you have always done and been successful, why change? Why not tell your people how to do the things they do?
The evolution from the demands of managing people to leading them can be subtle. Management by telling is demanding, because when they are thinking, creative and valuable, even the most enthusiastic individual gets demotivated when all they do is carry out the orders of their boss. Just telling people how to do tasks ‘My Way‘, because it works/ed for you as manager, requires constant intervention to deliver the ‘same old, same old‘.
It is exhausting. And it is not productive.
Eventually managers who work like this are found out because they burn out. Manager clients who present to me with an exhausted look on their faces, often turn out to be demanding of their people to deliver to order, rather than with freedom and creativity about a task. These managers fail to let go sufficiently to enable the diverse knowledge and experiences that the people in their team bring.
Fatigue; frustration and being last in the office each evening are but a few of the symptoms of the ‘My Way‘ manager who has yet to realise that there is a better way. It is not a ‘My Way‘ world any more; it is ‘Your Way‘; it is ‘Their Way‘ and – in time – it is ‘Our Way‘. The leader can and must offer clear guidance on expectations and outcomes. There may be some ground rules of how to operate. They can and must be clear on the ‘What‘ they want, and flexible on the ‘How‘ it is achieved.
When leaders take up a style where they seek the input of others in their teams, it can feel as if they are losing control and their own position can seem under threat if they are not seen to be the fount of all knowledge; the expert. So it seems easier to manageeveryone in the team. This is – as business becomes ever more demanding – a false fear, for they are building better outcomes and much more motivated teams in the longer term, when they are inclusive in the ‘How‘.
‘My Way‘ is only viable in the short-term or they become overwhelmed. It is at this point they naturally revert to a hands on individual contributor, doing the activities they know well, whilst feeling that they are achieving something tangible.
My Aha Moment
I once got promoted to a large store. It was a nightmare to run with many problems I inherited and I found myself stacking shelves some days. It made me feel good. It looked good. I was good at it and I was achieving something. One day I got a call from one of my team to tell me that my area was looking a bit low on stock. They were depending on me to do work that someone else should be doing. In that moment, I noticed that I had fallen back to an individual contributor role, because my leadership role was harder. I realised I had to bite the bullet of my own fears and become a leader, rather than a doer.
Real leaders spend their time leading. Which means stepping out of the ‘doing’ stuff and working closely to develop their people and accepting that ‘My Way‘ is not the only way. Indeed, it may not be the best way at all, as new eyes on a tasks or problem might have better insights and certainly different perspectives that could be even better.
There is still a place for ‘My Way‘ in organisations, but to be clear, this is best left to Christmas parties, when anyone – including leaders themselves – are welcome to using the standard as their tune of choice.
